Improvisers spend a lot of time with each other. At rehearsals. During shows. Attending meetings. “Just hanging out” with each other turns into an evening of weird, complex jokes, pantomiming and changing the words to trendy pop hits.
It’s not uncommon for this zaniness between improvisers to turn into sparks, and for those sparks to turn into full-fledged relationships.
A lot of people date within Theatre Strike Force, and that has me wondering if improvisers are just more compatible with each other. Does the desire for another improviser fuel the desire to get better at improvising? Does the relationship affect scenes or the group dynamic?
Some people within TSF were more than willing to spill the beans. Mmm, beans.
As far as any romantic relationship goes, there is a support system involved. Improv couples go one step further and support each other on stage as performers.
Sami M., who has recently joined TSF, is dating someone within the organization. She wrote that she enjoys hearing his laughter in the audience if she does something funny in an improv scene. In her opinion, it enhances the experience of being on stage.
“You’re already excited to perform in front of any audience, so it pushes you to be even better at what you do,” Sami wrote.
For some improv couples, it is also common to talk about comedy outside of practices and meetings. Sami mentioned that they regularly talk about recent shows or the latest SNL.
Matt W., who is in TSF and ArACkA Spontaneous Comedy, is dating fellow improviser Larah C. He wrote that she will be truthful about his performances.
“After a show, I know I have someone who is going to tell me how the show is with unabashed honesty,” Matt wrote. “If it was a bad show, then Larah tells me so. If it was good, she says so.”
His girlfriend, Larah, wrote, “We are completely honest with each other’s scene work, sometimes to the point of brutality. But it’s not a brutality the asker didn’t ask for.”
The mathematical breakdown of their coupley conversations: improv takes up 30 percent, Larah wrote.
Jenn F. (left), performing with Sunday Group at the Common Grounds in Gainesville.
And what if dating improvisers are in a scene together? Does it sway their improv decisions, or does it affect their concentration somehow?
Jenn F. has been in an improv relationship for years and is extremely active within TSF. Her boyfriend is now performing improv at iO in Chicago. She is about to graduate in December, and she was recently accepted into Second City in Chicago.
“I remember it being exciting when we were in a scene,” Jenn wrote. “It was hard not to break, though.”
Filup M., also an avid improviser and a comedy writer, wrote that he has been in scenes with girls he has dated in the past.
“Never has it gone more or less toward dating/romance scenes, mostly because I think each improviser out there is a blank slate,” he wrote. “In the scene, they’re the character, not the actor, and you do what the scene calls for.
“It might not be the most comfortable thing in the world, but if a scene called for it, I would kiss another improviser in a scene, even if my significant other were watching from the audience or the backline,” Filup wrote. “That’s improv. That’s theatre. It’s make-believe and pretend. It’s lucky when you date people who know that and also have fun in it.”
Matt W. wrote that he stays away from performing scenes with Larah because he doesn’t want their credibility as improvisers to be doubted. If he is performing in front of close friends or people who don’t know about the relationship, he feels more at ease.
“The dynamic of the scene I think naturally shifts to the two of us not being in a romantic relationship, but nevertheless, the scenes go where they go because I have someone I know I can trust doing the scene with me,” Matt wrote.
Ricky K. and Katie L. perform an improv scene together. They have been solidly dating for about a year.
Improvisers complement each other. If one has a comment, the other has the quip. If one has a brilliant idea, the other has a different viewpoint. If improv was ice cream, an improviser as a significant other would be the sprinkles on top.
“You have to open your mind more (in improv) than you ever have to in any other kind of social situation,” Jenn wrote. “I think that’s why so many TSF people date. You’re already exposing a lot of yourself.”
Filup wrote that he once dated someone who wasn’t a big fan of improv, and it put a huge strain on the relationship.
“When someone you want to spend your time with doesn’t appreciate something that you care so deeply about or even doesn’t understand it, it will become a huge issue,” he wrote.
After that, he began dating people who were either improvisers or really appreciated the art.
“Since then, I also haven’t had a bad relationship or a bad break-up,” Filup wrote.
In order to improve at improv, dedicating time, energy and effort is a must. Being with someone who supports that comedy endeavor, who also enjoys it, can make the creative trek easier.
Filup is in such a relationship now. His girlfriend is an improviser and sketch writer. While he’s performing or working on the comedy TV show he writes and directs, Oppie’s Friend, Gene, she is a part of his support system.
“I’ve gotta think that’s why she never bats an eye when I have to lock myself in my room for a weekend to reword a few jokes for Oppie,” Filup wrote. “She has an understanding of comedy, and she can totally appreciate how much time I put into it. Also the fact that she’s a writer and actress, she can respect my choice in life, to make this my career in the end.
“How could you not look at a group of very funny, very smart people and not hope to find your potential mate in there?” Filup asked.
For another look at improv relationships, watch a video interview with TSF treasurer Katie L. and TSF president Ricky K. They’re dating, they’re witty and they’re willing to share their perspectives. Hilariousity ensued:
This is so true and very common. I always think that when people have the same interests and they’re around each other all the time, they’re bound to start liking each other.
As a performer who has been on teams with girlfriends and with other dating couples, I now generally try to avoid intra-team romances as much as possible. It’s difficult avoiding that tendency to play out relationship-drama on stage. You share something with one person on the team that you don’t share with other teammates, which can hurt group dynamic. But I guess I just come from an era in TSF in which romances sparked a great deal of unnecessary drama in the broader organization… for me, Trojan Wars just aren’t worth the trouble.
Of course, dating within an improv team can definitely be pulled off, and my skepticism has been proved wrong a number of times. But it requires a level of maturity so rarely seen in college improvisers.